It’s Not Your Job to Like Me, It’s Mine

The title is original Quotes by Byron Katie. That’s pretty shady, right?

So.. let's jump into the ride today.

If you want to completely change your opinion about happiness..

If you are struggling with your introverted personality..

If you have trauma to overcome and relationships to heal..

If you are looking for a sign..

So this is a little sign for you, that people's judgment is not your field.
*disclaimer: this is different from the critic. How you handle criticism, is just to accept and evaluate yourself as well (dengan asumsi bahwa kritikan tersebut membangun dan berdasar). 

OK get back on track.

Kita semua pasti ingin diterima, disetujui, dan dihargai oleh orang lain and that’s the part of basic human needs. Siapa sih yang nggak mau merasakan hal itu? Of course it’s good when we are liked, bahkan research membuktikan bahwa perasaan disukai itu memicu hormon bahagia atau dopamine. Sebaliknya, perasaan tidak disukai, seperti diasingkan, ditolak, dibenci itu sangat nggak enak rasanya.

Nah budaya seperti rasa sungkan atau nggak enakan itu akarnya dari keinginan untuk disukai and it’s so normal, not a bad thing to feels like that. However, hal itu menjadi tidak sehat ketika kita pushover melakukan apapun demi kebahagiaan orang lain dengan mengorbankan kebahagiaan diri sendiri. And it can be lead to pleasing people, which is so tiring, physically and mentally.

I’ve been there. I worried about people’s opinions about me, so afraid of conflict (worry about saying something that others will disagree with or have general fears about doing things that will annoy or bother other people) that's lead me to be a “yes-man” and there are several people who take an advantage of my kindness. And it was so tired life, far from happiness. Padahal seberapa keras aku berusaha untuk menjadi disukai, akan selalu ada yang tidak menyukaiku as we are the villain in someone’s life. Sampai pada akhirnya, aku tersadar aku nggak butuh semua orang menyukaiku untuk menjadi bahagia, without being liked by people I still can carry on with my life. And it’s fine. I feel free to be my own self without worrying about people’s opinions. I can freely choose or do anything that I want or I don’t want, bravely saying “no” and that made me use my energy to more focus on my development (currently, that’s my number 1 priority, it's still lagging but that's supposed to be when we have to learn to do something).

Because after all, what we have is just ourselves.

People come and go, when they leave, they don’t deserve you.

Either they value you or miss you.

Just don’t give a f about people's opinion, you have a lot of unfinished business, so let them wrong about you. You shouldn’t prove anything to show ‘em that you are kind of worth or anything else.

Focus more on your growth, and those who always support you genuinely.

You deserve to be loved without being to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.

Protect your energy and surrounding yourself with people who deserve you.

“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked” Ichiro Kishimi.