FRIDAY 13

For me, overall life is so complicated, unpredictable. Sometimes it's normal, like a roller-coaster, or sometimes it's so monotonous. As the time goes by, no matter what happens, I always try so hard to better up myself and I keep finding ways doing things I love, like a little bit exercise though it's not consistent yet, a little cook for myself, reading bunch of books, or drinking a cup of tea in the peaceful morning. I simply aware that the simplest routines and consistency will magically get me where I wanna be. I just try to live my very best life. And, what is my version of the best life? Actually for the longest time I have been trying to make sense of life, sometimes I just think that life is so ugly because how can we pay just to live in this universe!!! Even when we died we also have to PAY and imagine in this large land there are still a lot of 'homeless people'. Seems we live in a scam society, I MEAN WE RIOT HAHAHA.  I also sometimes think that I've...

So it goes... Do you ever feel like you are always ignored as if you don't exist because you're a -weird quiet being- who doesn't respond in words but rather with a confused, nervous response? Merasa paling beda sendiri di suatu lingkungan (berbeda dalam konotasi negatif), paling susah approached, paling susah bergaul, yang padahal orang lain itu ngga butuh terlalu banyak effort untuk melakukan hal yang menurut kita sangat sulit kita lakukan. Sad right..? When we found difficulty in the simplest or most common things in this world. To be honest.. Everybody is just really nice to me, always approaching me first, and always trying to talk about something with me which I appreciate, but WHY is it so difficult for me to become more confident, articulate, and advanced at everything I should do, at everything that literally most people can do easily do that? Sometimes, I just feel bad for myself and for everyone around me.. And to be frankly, I don't like this part of me....